unless you’re somehow catching this on your dash between the seconds i posted this and then my explanation, you have probably read else where that i’m leaving ficdom and will not be continuing office antics. the links above are what i had wrote and what i had planned for the series.
outline for the rest of the story (LJ chapters 11-20, AFF chapters 19-28) + some fragments that were written
unfinished character profiles (horizontal scroll. also only luhan, baekhyun, minseok, chanyeol, tao, jongin, sehun, are filled out)
what i had written for:
[caution these are really rough, about 30% of the plot would not have been included either, and sometimes i just end my sentences without denoting it/skip over sections that i didn’t feel like writing at the time. my style of writing is pretty messy because i jump back and forth. but there’s around 25,000 words of content in there.
Episode 11 || The Conference Ii/III
Episode 12 || The Conference III/III (this is only the random antics, chanbaek’s penpal letters from when they were six)
Episode 13 || No shave march
Episode 14 || The Documentary
Episode 15 || Retrograde Yesterday
i am incredibly sorry about this, as someone who used to hang onto chaptered fics, i can understand if you’re extremely disappointed.
a lot people told me the chapters made them laugh over the last two years. and that’s really all i wanted to accomplish! office antics was really just a really long anecdote of a few of the dumb people and situations i’ve encountered in my life. so thanks for finding it funny with me!
hi! i am leaving, so here’s an faq (future anticipated questions) to clear up any confusion!
where are you going?
anywhere but fandom!
three main reasons
1. i have no future in writing and i’m not interested in incorporating writing into my future [30% of the reason]
2. fandom makes me fundamentally unhappy [30% of the reason]
3. i have no self control and so it’s starting to have negative impact on my real life [40% of the reason]
why does fandom make you unhappy?
- the multiple wars over anything and everything
- blind worship
- hyper-sexualization of the 12
- average metal maturity
- there are many big fish in this small pond of ours. and i’m getting tired of being hit in the face with their giant egos. my real life is also quite full of people with big egos, but the difference is that these people actually are quite successful and accomplished so i can actually stand it. (it’s not to say people here aren’t…but less are.)
wow i’m disappointed in you!
i know, i know. i’m pretty disappointed in me too. this is totally not the way i wanted to leave.
how did you want to leave?
i don’t really know how to phrase this in the best way, so i’ll just say right here that i’m leaving the ficdom. which means i will no longer be writing or using any accounts tied to writing fics, including this tumblr.
i’m not leaving the fandom entirely, rather i’m moving myself away from contributing to it and resettling to where i basically won’t be involved. if you’re interested in keeping up with me, there’s info on how to do that in the [faq] for the curious (it’s the really long paragraph…).
i wouldn’t say that this is due to “unexpected circumstances” since it’s something i’ve been battling myself to do for the past half year, but it was unexpected that i finally gathered enough will to leave.
i’m guessing you’re curious about the reasons why.
there wasn’t a single catalytic moment, there were several. but ultimately it boils down to based on where i am now and where i want to be, i’d rather continue my relationship with exo as artist and appreciator rather than idol and fan.
most importantly ive missed a lot of college life these past two years. all the time i’ve spent on fandom, i reallocated from things i could have done in irl. and i can’t mix the two. i can’t cross-share my accomplishments for fear of being discovered. i am not proud of being a fic writer, my friends and my sibling have both expressed extreme distaste for fanfiction. and since it’s something i just do for fun, i am not out to change anyone’s opinion. so i live two lives, both mediocrely, and it puts a lot of stress.
ironically, even though i also believe i’m too old to be in the fandom, the reality is that i’m too immature to handle my time wisely. and just given how far i am in my education and how close i am to becoming a professional, i can’t afford to treat it so casually anymore.
and truthfully i don’t like writing.
i’ve never liked it. i hate the process of meticulously stitching imagination into lines of text, going back and reworking those thread again and again and again, the relief of finishing things immediately buried by the anxiety of the reaction i’d receive. i hate playing the maintenance worker, filling the potholes of logic with loose words and half-assed ideas. i’m irritated by the amount of time it takes to write things, irritated about how limited my vocabulary is, and irritated that my plots were just different dogs with the same two tricks.
guy a meets guy b, they have snarky dialogue and because of something cliche like a smile, or something nice guy b does, guy a gets dumbstruck and falls in love.
and then later, guy b also falls in love.
and then happy ending and curtain close.
everything i’ve written can be distilled to that. this was the one formula i used, over and over again. and it gets old.
but the thing is, i love telling stories.
last minute dump masterpost. unless denoted, things are wips.
these were all of the projects i was more or less working on up until now that i’ve been releasing slowly over the past three days. they really weren’t ready for viewing, hence why they’ve stayed wips so long. but i thought i’d be a shame for them to just sit on computer. so here’s pretty much the stuff that never came to fruitation but i still held out some degree of hope for (until i didn’t)!
full fledged fics
conversational openers || baekhyun/chanyeol || 6.8k words, fluff || chanyeol has a hard time talking to baekhyun. kris suggests pickup lines.
heels over head || kai/kyungsoo, baekhyun/chanyeol || 5k, fluff || kai/soo sidestory to moments like these
here’s to another four years || There’s exactly one person who has the ability to ruin Baekhyun’s college debut. And he happens to live across the hall.
snowboarding au || it sucks being the third wheel, good thing baekhyun meets a guy at the slopes
seashells by the seashore || baekhyun meets a photographer twixt water and sand
[non wip] chanbaek college!au
dropoff || breaking bad inspired.
ilbaek percent || homage to akmu’s 200%
[non wip] nonangsty kaisoo
antebellum || mandatory service au
teaching assistance || luhan hates teaching undergrads. sehun helps reinforce that sentiment.
[non wip] retailstore!au
cinderfella || kris is cinderella
suchen college au || these are the best days of junmyeon’s life. supposedly anyway.
sukai college au || the last reason jongin should be joining a frat is because of an attractive guy.
[nonwip] tennis!au || lu and chen || luhan accuses chen of cheating. che accueses luhan of being a shitty tennis player
breakup || baekhyun/unnamed oc || he doesn’t get how things fall apart (prelude to open heart bypass)
inglorious bastards au ft. sehun
There were about 10 episodes left. And this is how it was supposed to go down.
The numbering is based on the LJ chapters. For the AFF chapter, please add 8 to the number to get the equivalent numbering.
this is most of what i wanted to tell people about what i’ve learned about writing, in general and for ficdom
kinda like rambling last thoughts and observations. doesn’t apply to everybody. sometimes doesn’t even apply to the majority. but, idk, here goes nothing.